


Loneliness

by stargatefan_archivist



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Action/Adventure, Angst, Drama, Gen, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-09-15
Updated: 2002-09-15
Packaged: 2018-10-06 19:58:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10343514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stargatefan_archivist/pseuds/stargatefan_archivist
Summary: Spoilers: Thor’s Hammer, Thor’s Chariot, Need, the Tok’ra, Hathor, LegacyWarnings: heavy duty angstSummary: Daniel may have made a friend for life - the only problem is, his worst nightmare is coming true...





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Yuma, the archivist: this work was originally archived at [Stargatefan.com](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Stargatefan.com). To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [StargateFan Archive Collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/StargateFan_Archive_Collection).

Stargate SG-1 FanFiction - Loneliness

##  Loneliness

##### Written by Raven   
Comments? Write to us at iona_bookworm@hotmail.com

  * SUMMARY : Daniel may have made a friend for life - the only problem is, his worst nightmare is coming true..... 
  * PG-13 [A] [D] 



* * *

“Where the hell are they?” Jack O’Neill demanded. Five minutes into the debriefing, but so far, he, Daniel, and the general were the only ones here. Sam Carter and Teal’C appeared to have gone AWOL. 

“Why are you asking me, Jack?” asked Daniel wearily. “How am I supposed to know?” 

A little surprised, Jack stole a look at Daniel out of the corner of his eye. To his experienced eyes, the archaeologist looked absolutely exhausted. Strange. They’d only been offworld for a grand total of about half an hour before picking themselves up and getting home. Jack himself felt a little tired, yeah, but Daniel looked ready to drop where he stood. Bearing this in mind, Jack turned to the general. “With all due respect, sir, could we start the debriefing without Carter and Teal’C? It’s not as if they could tell you anything we couldn’t.” 

“You have no idea where they are?” General Hammond asked. “Could they possibly be with Dr. Frasier?” 

“No,” Daniel shook his head. “Janet said she’d leave all the medical stuff until after the debriefing.” 

“Yeah, the doc’s always nice like that,” muttered Jack. 

“What was that, Colonel O’Neill?” 

“Nothing, sir.” 

“All right,” said the general, coming to a decision. “Let’s get started. What happened out there?” 

“Basically, we walked out of the Gate straight into a war,” said Jack. “Some Goa’uld versus some other Goa’uld, and lots of Jaffa, I don’t know what it was about. There were no other aliens. Well, everyone was so busy fighting they never even noticed the Gate activated. So, we appeared, we nearly got killed by stray energy blasts, so I decided it would be best if we just moved on out of there. And that was that, sir.” 

The general wasn’t letting it go that easily. “You were gone for thirty minutes, Colonel, and yet you say you arrived, turned round and came back again. Are you sure nothing else happened?” 

“Unless you count Daniel wandering off again, no, sir,” said Jack smoothly. 

“Dr. Jackson wandered off?” asked the general. 

“Yes,” said Jack. “I sent Carter and Teal’C through the Stargate and went to find him. But he came back by himself, so we came through a couple of minutes after Carter and Teal’C.” 

General Hammond was a little surprised. They were talking about Daniel as if he wasn’t there in the room with them, and yet he hadn’t said a word. In fact, his head was on the table, and all they could see of him was his long, brown blonde hair covering his head. General Hammond wondered vaguely what would happen if Daniel were military, rather than the eccentric civilian he was, and shuddered at the thought. Independently, he reached the conclusion that the young archaeologist was shattered. 

Suddenly, the door flew open. On the other side stood Teal’C and Sam Carter, who both looked extremely apologetic. “I’m sorry!” cried Sam impulsively. “I didn’t mean to be late, only…” She stopped. 

“Well?” demanded General Hammond, but he dropped his angry tone when he saw Sam’s face. 

The team’s other scientist had frozen and paled. Her blue eyes were haunted with fear. 

“Carter?” said Jack. “Sam?” 

Sam took a step back. “Goa’uld,” she muttered. 

“What?” 

“Goa’uld! There’s a Goa’uld in this room!” Sam was almost shouting. 

“Uh, Carter,” said Jack, as gently as he could, “I’m sure there isn’t.” 

“With all due respect, Colonel, I can sense Goa’uld, and you can’t,” said Sam acidly. “When I say I can sense one of them here now, I mean it.” 

“Could you be sensing Teal’C’s symbiote?” asked the general. “It is technically a Goa’uld.” He pointed at Teal’C where he stood. Teal’C did bear a Goa’uld within him, but in its larval form it acted as his immune system, forming a true symbiotic partnership, unlike the adult Goa’uld, which were true parasites. 

“For God’s sake, Colonel, I know what I’m talking about!” cried Sam. “There is a Goa’uld here! You have to believe me!” 

Ignoring the insubordination, Jack turned and looked round the room. The general and Daniel had stood up, and they moved towards Sam along with Jack in an attempt to calm her down. 

Sam had frozen again, rooted to the spot. Jack looked away for one second… and he saw it. 

Daniel had frozen just like Sam. Suddenly, he swayed, stumbling forwards and almost falling, but in a few seconds his head lifted. The rest of SG-1 and the general looked on in horror as Daniel’s blue eyes flamed amber and gold, ‘the colour of evil’ as Jack had once put it. 

“Oh, my God!” exclaimed the team’s leader. Desperately trying to reach his friend before it was too late, he shouted: “Daniel… Danny… can you hear me? Daniel!” 

For a few seconds, it seemed to be working. Suddenly, Daniel screamed and cried out in pain: “No! No! Jack, kill me! Don’t leave me like this! Kill me!” 

“Silence!” It was Daniel’s voice, but not soft and gentle. Daniel’s voice, the harsh, twisted version, the voice of the alien parasite taking over his mind. “This host… is unusual.” 

Jack felt ready to explode. “You have five seconds to get out of him before I kill you!” he threatened, aiming a zat gun Teal’C had handed him. 

“Be calm,” said the Goa’uld. The harsh, disturbing voice reminded Jack of Ra, Apophis, Hathor, Sokar, a million other Goa’uld they had killed. The Goa’uld in Daniel, however, was more shocking and horrifying than any of them, mainly because Jack could see how Daniel’s eyes had lost their soft charm, replaced by the blank evil that characterised the eyes of a host. 

The Goa’uld was still talking. “If you shoot, you will only succeed in harming your friend’s body. Besides, you care for Daniel too much to let any harm come to him.” 

“You heard him,” declared Jack grimly. “He’d rather die now than live with a snake inside his head.” 

“Is that so?” said the alien silkily, smiling, making Jack turned to face Daniel - no, not Daniel. He tried to shake himself into letting go of the belief he was talking to Daniel. The being talking to him was not - repeat, was not - his friend. 

“I am not here to harm you, Tau’ri. I am Tok’ra. My name is Zelnar.” 

At this statement, they turned as one to face Sam. “Is it true, Carter?” Jack asked. “Is he really a Tok’ra?” 

“I don’t know!” Sam exclaimed. “If he is, Jolinar never knew him. There’s no way of knowing.” 

“I have not tried to hurt you in any way,” offered Zelnar. “I am not Goa’uld, I give you my word.” 

“And just how trustworthy is your word?” demanded Jack, suddenly angry again. Daniel’s eyes had faded back to blue, and some of the harshness was going out of his voice, thoroughly scaring the colonel, who could not shake off the impression that this was Daniel talking to him. 

“If you are Tok’ra,” said Sam determinedly, “then give Daniel control now.” 

“As you wish.” 

There was a pause. “Daniel?” said Jack hopefully. 

 

Daniel swore to himself - to what was left of himself - that after this he would never wander off again, ever. He had been on that planet, he remembered that much. He’d gone off for just one minute, just one minute, and he’d found what looked like a dead Jaffa lying on the ground. Why had he been interested? Oh, yes, it was because of the fact the dead Jaffa didn’t seem to have a tattoo or insignia of any kind. He’d always thought that all Jaffa bore the sign of the Goa’uld they served. If he didn’t, that would make him a Goa’uld himself, and no Goa’uld would lie dead out here, unattended, so that didn’t make sense either. Daniel had taken a few steps forwards, and the dead man’s mouth had opened… 

The snake, the Goa’uld, ventured blindly into the light, giving that nightmarish squealing sound Daniel knew to dread, hunting for a host. Daniel had tried to run… but it was too late. He’d tried keeping his mouth firmly shut, but that hadn’t stopped the snake, who had leapt at him and simply taken the shortest route - through the back of his neck… 

Hush, little one. 

Get out of me! Daniel screamed inwardly. _Snake!_

I will not harm you. You are an unusual host, though you are still so young. What is your name? 

Leave me alone! Daniel screamed. _I’m not going to be host to a Goa’uld!_

I am not Goa’uld. I am a Tok’ra. My name is Zelnar. Your name is… Daniel? Daniel, I will not harm you. I am a Tok’ra. I hate the Goa’uld just as you do. See, I will give you control. Talk to your friends, little one. They are worried about you. 

 

“Daniel?” said Jack again. “Daniel, can you hear me?” 

Daniel didn’t look up. After a pause, he spoke, in a low, monotonous tone. “Yes.” 

“Is he a Tok’ra?” Sam demanded. “Daniel, we have to know. Can you keep control?” 

Yes, little one. Keep control. Zelnar was amicable, thinking Daniel a strange human indeed, but essentially a wise one. 

“Yes,” said Daniel quietly. “He is a Tok’ra. His name is Zelnar.” 

“Daniel?” said Sam tentatively. “Are you… are you all right?” She swore at herself under her breath once she’d said it, because it sounded so pathetic… so stupid. In the space of a few hours, Daniel had become a host to a snake in his head, simultaneously having his own worst nightmare realised, and here she was, inanely asking him if he was all right. 

Fortunately for Sam, she never got a reply. Daniel/Zelnar suddenly froze and then crumpled to the ground. Teal’C, like he had so many times before, though never like this, picked Daniel’s body up and carried him out. 

 

 

“Incoming traveller!” The alarms sounded throughout the base. SG-1 hurried to the control room, all looking eagerly through the glass at the Stargate, watching each one of its chevrons light up, and finally, the huge plasma wash that settled into the event horizon of the wormhole. 

“Is there a code?” Jack asked Sam and the Gate technicians. 

“No… no… yes! Open the iris!” 

Down in the Gate room, the huge metal iris spun out of the way of the wormhole. After a pause, two figures stumbled out of its shimmering surface. SG-1 recognised them instantly, and ran down to the Gate room as one. 

“Dad!” yelled Sam. 

Jacob Carter, her father, smiled broadly at the sight of his daughter. “Sam, it’s good to see you. Jack, Teal’C, good to see you too. Martouf, what are you doing?” 

“I’m here,” said Martouf. “Sam!” 

“Hi, Martouf,” said Sam. “You remember Colonel O’Neill and Teal’C?” 

“How could he forget?” murmured Jack under his breath as he greeted Martouf and Jacob. Jacob himself, however, seemed puzzled. “Where’s Daniel?” he asked. 

“Uh, Dad,” said Sam, “we have a situation. Could we speak to Selmak, do you think?” 

Jacob Carter lowered his head, then lifted it again. The harsh voice of the Tok’ra Selmak rang out. “Greetings, Samantha.” 

“Selmak,” said Jack, coming to the point, “do you know a Tok’ra called Zelnar?” 

“Zelnar?” repeated Selmak. “She is a rebel. She has been missing for many years, and frankly we weren’t sorry to see him go. We do not know if she is dead, but we have had no word of her for a long time.” 

“I have never met her,” added Martouf. 

“Neither have I,” cut in Lantash, the Tok’ra in Martouf. 

“Well, things are about to change,” said Jack. “We have something important to tell you…” 

Following their collapse, Teal’C had carried Daniel/Zelnar into the infirmary, but surprisingly enough, Janet hadn’t been able to find anything wrong with either Goa’uld or host. “Uh, doc,” said Jack. “People don’t collapse for no reason.” 

“Too much caffeine, not enough sleep,” responded the doctor. Janet was a doctor, but as Chief Medical Officer of the Stargate Project, she sometimes wondered whether this was what she’d had in mind when she’d chosen her career. The things she had to cope with… there was that Neanderthal plague from the Land of Light… incredibly accelerated aging on Argos… not to mention the weird brainwashing chemicals Hathor had used… For once, it was nice to deal with a perfectly ordinary complaint, not enough sleep and too much coffee. At least, it would have been an ordinary complaint, if the person concerned hadn’t had a snake in his head. 

“Too much caffeine, not enough sleep?” repeated Jack, bewildered. “But that’s just Daniel. That’s what he _does_.” 

“It’s what Daniel does,” agreed the doctor. “But the Goa’uld doesn’t seem to appreciate it.” 

“So that’s all that’s wrong?” asked Jack. 

“Well, not quite, Colonel,” said Janet. “I just thought you should know… this Goa’uld did not enter Daniel through his mouth.” 

“You mean…?” The team leader couldn’t finish it. 

“Yes, that is exactly what I mean,” Janet told him, suppressing a shudder as she thought about it. 

Ugh. Don’t think about it, Jack, he told himself. You’re in the military, you can cope with this. Just don’t think about it. 

But he couldn’t stop himself. He’d seen Goa’uld without hosts, the slimy, squealing snakes with the horrifically sharp teeth, and he could just picture it… the snake, lunging forwards, sinking its teeth into the back of Daniel’s neck… Until now, the archaeologist’s overlong hair had covered the wound, and so no-one had seen until it was too late. Although… If he looked carefully, Jack could see where the blonde of Daniel’s hair was stained brown and red with blood. Ugh… 

“Martouf, Jacob, Lantash,” said Jack O’Neill, “meet Zelnar.” 

They were in a VIP room the general had considerately lent them, considering the circumstances. Seeing as he was only asleep, the doc had consented to Teal’C carrying Daniel/Zelnar here and laying him on a convenient chair. 

“Oh, my God,” said Jacob after a pause. “Daniel?” 

“Yes,” said Sam. “We think it got into him on the planet we were just on - there was a war between some minor Goa’ulds - and Daniel was separated from us for a few minutes. We never realised what had happened till we got back to Earth, and I sensed it.” 

“Jacob, please let me speak,” said Selmak at this point. After a pause, she added, “Thank you,” and continued, “I knew Zelnar well. She is a rebel, as I said before. Some time ago, she committed a crime so heinous that she was banished from our ranks, and we never saw her again.” 

“What was the crime?” asked Martouf curiously. 

“She took a host against his will. The host was very much distressed at the time.” 

“Gee, I wonder why?” commented Jack sarcastically. 

“The host did appear to come to terms with it later,” said Selmak thoughtfully. “In any case, both Zelnar and her host disappeared some time later, and that was the last time either of them were seen or heard of.” 

“So what are you saying?” asked Sam. “The thing in Daniel is definitely Tok’ra? It won’t try and take him over completely?” 

“We have no way of knowing,” said Selmak. “On the one hand, she is a born Tok’ra, and before she took that host, she was basically good and honest. But this is two hosts she has taken against their will, and added to the fact she went through the back of Daniel’s neck…” Even Jacob/Selmak shuddered at that thought, Jack noticed. 

Jacob/Selmak stood up. “I must speak to the Tok’ra High Council concerning this matter,” said Selmak. “I will go now. Martouf/Lantash will remain.” 

“How long?” asked Sam anxiously. 

“Twenty-four hours, not more.” The voice of the Tok’ra suddenly changed into Jacob’s voice. “That’s a promise, Sam,” he said. “We’ll be back.” 

“Hang on, hang on!” exclaimed Jack. “You haven’t said what we’re supposed to do while you’re gone. Do we trust what’s-her-name, Zelnar?” 

“No,” said Selmak. “Restrain her, imprison her, use whatever means necessary.” 

“Now see,” said Jack, “I don’t want to do that, ‘cos basically we’d be tying Daniel up too, and I don’t want that. Is there any other way?” 

“A sedative?” suggested Sam. 

“A high dose will be needed, but I don’t see why not,” agreed Selmak. With that, Jacob/Selmak went out. 

A short while later, Sam saw to the Stargate dial out herself, and Jacob/Selmak left through the shimmering wormhole. 

 

“Colonel O’Neill?” 

“Doc?” Jack replied, wondering why she had woken him in the middle of the night. He, Sam, and Teal’C had elected to stay on base overnight, seeing as Jacob/Selmak could return at any time, but the team leader had thought it best to get some sleep, as they had absolutely no idea what was going to happen tomorrow. 

“It’s Daniel. Come!” 

Sleepily, Jack got up and made his way to the infirmary. He knew the way there perfectly, even with his eyes shut. Between them, he and Daniel had spent so much time here that Janet’s nurses were considering offering them frequent flyer miles. 

“What’s up, doc?” he asked on his arrival. Janet rolled her eyes. Even in the valley of the shadow of death, Colonel Jack O’Neill, USAF, would not stop making wisecracks. 

“Daniel’s having nightmares, and we can’t wake him from them. He’s called out for you, so I thought you might know what to do.” 

This time, Jack rolled his eyes. He listened to Daniel’s screams, and shivered. _Oh, Daniel, what a night…_

Idly, Jack wondered exactly how many commanding officers in the Stargate programme were compelled to get up in the middle of the night to soothe their younger teammates’ nightmares. 

But that wasn’t quite fair. It wasn’t one of his duties as a CO, after all. He could leave Daniel to scream if he liked. The truth was, Daniel was his friend. His best friend. There was no way he’d leave him to the mercy of whatever demons haunted his dreams. 

But was there another, more selfish reason? The truth was, Jack couldn’t bear the sound of Daniel’s screams. Jack felt like he would do anything, anything at all, if those screams would just stop, stop haunting him, stop ringing through his own dreams. Weren’t people supposed to grow out of nightmares aged six or so? Daniel had never really opened up about his own past to Jack, but he’d heard those screams, screams that sounded just like the frenzied terror of a very young child. Which was what Daniel was, in a way. Jack had never stopped thinking of Sam and Daniel as the kids. Yeah, sure, they were both grown up, both with intelligence quotients off the charts, and had been respectively engaged and married, to his eyes, they were… kids. He wasn’t sure which one was younger. He wasn’t sure it mattered. 

“Daniel! Danny, calm down, it’s only us…” He laid a hand on the young archaeologist’s blonde head, and he stirred and said something Jack didn’t understand. Jack himself wasn’t surprised. Almost certainly, Daniel dreamed in a mixture of all the twenty-three languages he spoke. However, Jack did recognise the language, although he didn’t understand it. Trying not to wonder what Daniel was dreaming about that would make him speak the language of the Goa’uld, Jack soothed his friend, hoping the Goa’uld within him was asleep… 

 

  

 

 

Daniel was asleep and dreaming. 

No! No! Don’t leave me here! Don’t leave me alone! Please! Please… 

Daniel! 

Please! 

Daniel! Hush, child, you were dreaming. 

Zelnar? 

It is I. You were having nightmares, Daniel, so I woke you. Such terrible dreams… No host I have ever known has dreamt such dreams as this. Tell me, of what were you dreaming? 

It’s nothing, Zelnar. Thanks for waking me. 

Tell me about it, child. You will not sleep peacefully if you do not. 

Why do you call me ‘child?’ 

I am hundreds of years older than you are, child. Allow me the wisdom of age. Zelnar gave her equivalent of gentle laughter, and it filled Daniel’s head, calming him. 

So? Of what were you dreaming? 

Something that happened a long time ago. It’s nothing you need to worry your snaky little head about. 

You seem to delight in making me laugh, Daniel. You are a most unusual human. 

And you’ve had plenty of experience with humans, I suppose? 

Yes, I have. I have had many hosts. But like I said before, you are the youngest, and you are also the strangest. 

Why strangest? 

Your wisdom is greater than your years, but there is a part of your mind that is hidden away, that hides part of yourself away. 

And what does that mean? 

You are alone. 

What? 

More than that, you are lonely. You are the loneliest person I have ever known. You seem to stand alone, and though your friends have tried to see into the part of yourself you have hidden, you will not allow it. You are drowning in your own loneliness… and you are having nightmares. 

Zelnar, you seem to forget I’m not alone. I can’t be alone, because I have a talking snake inside my head. 

Bitterness. Loneliness. Nightmares. Will you not take my advice, little one? Tell me about it. 

And why should I take your advice? 

I know what it is to be alone. 

Whatever you say, snake. 

I know. Trust me. I am not Goa’uld - I hate them and their kind. But I am not Tok’ra either, not since I was banished. So what am I? I am nothing and I am no-one. I belong to none and none belongs to me. 

Why were you banished? 

I took a host against his will. I was desperate to survive, and although the host was also dying, he bore the usual Tau’ri aversion to becoming a host. I did not wait for him to agree, and I simply took him over. I was young and arrogant. But in time, he and I became as one, truly blended like we should be. But even so, I was banished. The crime was too much for the Tok’ra to forgive. So I and my host have wandered the galaxy, always alone, until just yesterday, when he was killed in battle. And although I grieve for his death, I myself did not have to die. I took over the nearest human capable of being a host. 

Me. 

Yes, Daniel, you. 

I’m sorry for you, Zelnar. I guess I should be angry, but I’m sorry. 

As am I for you, Daniel. You, too, have no-one. 

Family, you mean? I don’t have any family… well, almost. 

Is this concerned with the dream you were having? 

What is this fixation with my dreams, Zelnar? Why do you want to know? 

Because if you do not tell anyone about them, they will turn inward. That way, you will never sleep. 

All right, all right. I was dreaming about… my parents. 

They are dead? 

Yes. They were killed when I was eight. 

In front of your eyes. Cruel, child. That was a cruel, cruel thing to happen. But you had other family? 

Only my grandfather. He was an archaeologist, like me. He was busy, didn’t have much time for a child… 

He abandoned you. 

Yes. 

But what of Sha’re? 

Sha’re? She’s my wife. She came from Abydos. 

But she is no more. 

She isn’t dead. She was taken… by the Goa’uld. She’s a host now. Apophis has her. I haven’t seen her for a long time… 

And you… you are alone. 

Yes. 

You see? You and I are alike in some ways. But now, you must sleep, Daniel. Your friends - they worry about you. They do not trust me, do not trust my promise I will not harm you in any way. 

You won’t harm me? 

I will not even take control of you. But I will not leave. I need life, and I have a right to it, just as you do. Now, sleep. Sleep… sleep… 

 

 

Jack sensed a change in his friend’s breathing. He smiled as he realised Daniel was sleeping peacefully, sleep without nightmares. He relaxed a little himself, sinking wearily back into his own chair. It wasn’t one of those hard plastic, grotesquely uncomfortable chairs Janet seemed to love torturing her patients’ visitors with. Seeing as Jack spent so much of his life here, waiting for Daniel to wake up from whatever it was that had had hit him this time, she’d given him, glory of glories, a comfortable squashy chair. Gradually, Jack O’Neill fell asleep too. 

Looking in a little later, Janet smiled at the scene. Daniel, sound asleep, and Jack, just as sound asleep, with a smile on his face and one hand still on his young friend’s tousled blonde head. 

Four hours later, the base was beginning to come alive. It was five am, and the nurses and the Gate technicians were going off their night shift. And although she would have liked to, Janet knew she couldn’t leave Jack and Daniel here all day. Silently, she made her way into the room, and reached out to shake Jack awake. 

A minute of continuous shaking later, and the colonel hadn’t stirred. Janet was baffled. She took a minute to check on Daniel, and found him to be deeply asleep. She estimated it would be at least another ten or twelve hours before he woke. The sedative appeared to be doing its job. 

“Unscheduled Gate activation! Incoming traveller!” The announcement and alarms sounded throughout the base. Jack opened his eyes and stared wildly around him. But he was on his feet in an instant. “Sorry doc!” he cried. “No time to talk!” 

With that, he ran out the room and towards the Gate room, leaving Janet staring after him in bemusement. The doctor started to laugh. Between them, SG-1 had caused more trouble for her than all the other teams put together, and yet she wasn’t immune to their collective charm. She turned… and froze in astonishment. 

Daniel was sitting up, watching her intently. But Janet knew that it wasn’t Daniel. The lack of the puppy-dog expression was enough to convince her of that, and a moment later, the blue eyes flared gold and amber. 

“Tau’ri.” 

“What do you want?” Janet demanded. She was a doctor, damnit! She was not supposed to treat anyone in her care with anything else but the utmost gentleness and courtesy. But when it was a snake inhabiting the body of one of her closest friends, she found that difficult. 

“The Tok’ra have arrived.” 

“Is that it?” Janet asked, trying to keep any hatred out of her voice, and failing dismally. 

“Yes. The human Daniel shall have control from here on in.” The harsh voice gradually faded away, and so did the amber in the eyes, to be replaced by the soft voice and deep blue eyes of the young archaeologist. “Hi, Janet,” said Daniel sleepily. 

“Daniel?” 

“It’s me, Janet,” Daniel said. “I’ve got control.” 

“You’ll have to answer a few questions, Daniel,” she warned him. 

“Aww, do I have to?” Daniel pleaded. The doctor resisted the urge to give in to those puppy-dog eyes, even though she was inwardly convinced Daniel had control. He must have control to bear that particular expression so convincingly. Janet had often thought that part of Daniel had never grown up, and was still a cute five-year-old playing in the sands of Egypt. 

“Yes, Daniel, I’m afraid you do. What’s your full name?” 

“Daniel Jackson.” 

“Birthday?” 

“July 8th. Come on, Janet, it’s me! The Tok’ra promised me control. I’ve been in control since yesterday night.” 

“You weren’t five minutes ago,” challenged the doctor. “The Goa’uld talked to me briefly. He said the Tok’ra had arrived.” 

“Have they?” 

“I have absolutely no idea. Just one moment.” She went quickly over to the observation window, and saw what she expected - SG-1, with Jacob/Selmak in tow. “Yes, Daniel, Jacob’s here,” she told him. There was no reply. “Daniel?” 

Daniel had fallen asleep. Janet thought briefly how cute he was when he fell asleep on her, and then hurried to the door to admit SG-1. 

“He’s asleep,” she told them as they entered. 

“Wasn’t he supposed to be?” asked Sam in surprise. “You said the sedative was working.” 

“He was awake five minutes ago,” responded Janet. “But he’s out of it again for now.” 

“Who has control?” asked Jacob suddenly. 

“I’m guessing Daniel does, though I can’t be sure,” Janet told him. Jacob lowered his head, and a second later Selmak spoke. “This is good.” 

“What is?” 

“I had feared that perhaps Zelnar had reverted to Goa’uld ways completely and totally taken over her host. But then again, if you are not sure…” 

“I’m almost sure,” Janet insisted. 

“Has Daniel spoken to you in his own voice since the blending?” Selmak asked. 

“Yes.” The answer came from several people. 

“So?” That was Sam. “What did the Tok’ra High Council say?”  
Selmak’s response was brief and to the point. “Send Daniel to Cimmeria.” 

“Cimmeria? Isn’t that a little… drastic?” Sam asked in alarm. 

“Zelnar will be no loss,” Selmak said. “She has been nothing but a thorn in the side of the Tok’ra, and for what she has done she deserves her fate, to die at the hands of the Asgard.” 

“That’s not what I meant,” Sam insisted. “What if Zelnar is too stubborn? She and Daniel will die together!” 

For a few minutes, the only sound in the room was Daniel’s breathing. The doctor, SG-1, and Jacob/Selmak were digesting Sam’s words. 

“What would you have?” said Selmak suddenly and passionately, making Jacob’s eyes glow. “I have never spent very much time among you of the Tau’ri, but even I see why you value Daniel Jackson’s life, and the love you collectively hold for him. What would you have? Would you have him live a thousand years, held prisoner in his own mind and body? Or would you rather take the chance, and live with the fact that perhaps your friend could die an honourable death for our cause? Or most likely of all, Daniel could be taken to Cimmeria and soon return, to live out his natural life in peace and freedom?” 

There was more silence. Not for nothing was Selmak the oldest and wisest of the Tok’ra. Her wisdom had been gathered over ages. 

“Wake Daniel,” said Jack finally. 

“I’m sorry, am I missing something here?” asked Janet. “Which planet was Cimmeria?” 

“Thor’s Hammer,” Jack explained, and Janet flinched. That wasn’t Jack’s job. The person on the team who answered hers and everyone else’s questions was Daniel. 

“Thor’s Hammer was a device of great power,” said Teal’C. “It can sense a Goa’uld upon its arrival through the Stargate.” 

“Then, it zaps the Goa’uld away to a place called the Labyrinth,” Sam continued. “It’s this place, this big maze thing apparently, and there’s only one exit.” 

“And in front of it’s this big Thor’s Hammer thingy.” That was Jack, obviously. “It takes the Goa’uld from the host and kills it.” 

“Wait just one second,” said Janet. “Didn’t you people destroy Thor’s Hammer?” 

“Yeah, we did,” said Jack. “But Thor’s Asgard buddies replaced it for us. Gotta love those guys.” 

“So only the host survives and leaves the Labyrinth,” Sam finished. “But the problem is that if the Goa’uld is stubborn enough, it’ll just stay there with its host until they both die of starvation.” 

“And you’re afraid that’s what Zelnar will do to Daniel?” asked Jacob. Despite the fact he was Selmak’s host, he really didn’t know as much about the matter as SG-1 and the Tok’ra. 

“Wake Daniel,” Jack repeated. But they were too late for that. Daniel’s eyes opened, and immediately flared amber gold. 

“Zelnar,” said Selmak acidly. “For your crimes, you are to be sent to the planet of Cimmeria.” 

“I understand.” There was no more rebellion from the renegade Tok’ra. Zelnar had accepted her fate as death at the hands of the Asgard. 

“I am glad of that. Now please give Daniel control,” Selmak said evenly. For a second, nothing happened, and then Daniel’s eyes faded back to blue. 

“Daniel?” said Jack. “Danny?” He knew using the nickname would rouse Daniel - there was nothing that irritated the young scientist more than being called that. 

“I’m here, Jack,” said Daniel in his normal soft voice. 

“We’re sending you to Cimmeria, Daniel,” Jack told him. “You’ll end up in the Labyrinth, remember? You’ll have to go through Thor’s Hammer.” 

“When?” Daniel was still a little dazed and unfocused from the after-effects of the sedative. 

“Now,” said Selmak, suddenly taking control over Jacob. 

“Whoa!” Jack said. “Now? You can’t send Daniel into a maze now! He’s doped!” 

“I agree with Colonel O’Neill,” Janet said. “Can’t we give it some time?” 

“It must be now,” Selmak said. “The sooner it is done, the easier it will be for Daniel afterwards.” 

Five minutes later, Jack and Jacob/Selmak stood at the base of the Gate ramp, watching the seven chevrons light up one by one as the technicians dialled Cimmeria’s Stargate address. Behind them, one of the doors opened, and Teal’C entered. He was carrying the sleeping Daniel as if he weighed nothing at all. As the Stargate activated, Teal’C and Jack made their way up the ramp. Jack was going through to warn Gairwyn about what they were doing, and hopefully they could get Daniel out quickly and take him home. 

“Ready?” called Jacob from the bottom of the ramp. Like Teal’C, he wasn’t risking coming anywhere near the Gate. Thor’s Hammer was of course unable to tell the difference between Jaffa and Tok’ra and Goa’uld, and Jacob liked Selmak too much to lose her. 

“Ready as we’ll ever be,” Jack responded, and taking the unconscious archaeologist in his arms, made his way up to the shimmering event horizon. 

“Jack?” 

“Yes, Danny,” Jack replied, watching the shimmering light of the Stargate flicker over his young friend’s face. 

“Where are you taking me?” 

“Ah, Danny, we’re supposed to have been over this. We’re going to Cimmeria. Thor’s Hammer, remember? It’ll get the snake out of you.” 

“Cimmeria? No!” Daniel struggled suddenly, trying to make Jack drop him onto the Gate ramp. “Jack, you can’t do that!” 

“I know, I know,” Jack told him gently, making him settle and remain still. “I didn’t want to do this to you either. You’ll be alone for a while, but you’ll get out of the maze thingy, promise. And I’m going through to tell Gairwyn about it - she’ll help me get you home in no time. And in the meantime, Danny, you’re no light weight, so if we could just…” 

“Jack, no!” Daniel was fighting to stay awake, but he knew inwardly he had to make Jack listen or else it would be too late. “Please! Zelnar!” He struggled a little more, and Jack gave up the unequal struggle with gravity and dropped Daniel unceremoniously onto the ramp. 

Up in the control room, Sam and Jacob/Selmak, and the general were watching in astonishment as Colonel O’Neill dropped his team-mate and sat moodily on the ramp. Behind them, the Stargate waited in vain. 

“Colonel O’Neill?” General Hammond called through the mike. “What’s the delay?” 

“Uh, well…” Jack began. “It seems we have a problem.” 

Back in the briefing room, he tried to explain. 

“What are you saying?” Sam asked. “Daniel doesn’t want to go?” She motioned towards her friend, who had fallen into a deep sleep immediately following his removal from the Gate room, and was now lying across two chairs until they could figure out just what the hell to do with him. 

“That’s what it sounded like,” Jack admitted. “I told him we’d be there and he wouldn’t be in the maze for long, but he called out the snake’s name before he passed out again.” 

“It would appear,” said Selmak suddenly, “that Daniel Jackson does not want Zelnar to die.” 

“What?” asked Jack. 

“If Daniel does not want Zelnar to be killed by the Asgard, then we must abide by his wishes. Ultimately, the decision should be made by the host.” 

“But why?” Sam asked. “Why doesn’t Daniel want Zelnar killed?” 

“He may have formed an understanding with the parasite. Such things are not unknown,” Selmak said gravely. 

“Oh, for cryin’ out loud!” Jack leapt to his feet. “He gets a snake inside his head, and the kid has to go and _make friends_ with it! I’m sorry, but that is just not possible.” 

“What other explanation have you to give, Colonel O’Neill?” asked Selmak gently. 

“Look, no offence to him, but the kid’s not exactly in his right mind right now, is he?” Jack demanded. “The snake’s not doing wonders for his common sense, is it? I say, send him through the Gate, and get him back again. Then he’ll be talking sense again.” 

“Excuse me, Colonel.” They all turned; they seemed to have forgotten the doctor was in the room. “Listen to me,” Janet said. “With all due respect, please remember the last time we considered Daniel to be losing his mind.” 

Doc, what did you have to do that for? Jack thought to himself. He hated thinking of that time, hated it. There was that image of Daniel, his best friend, and also just a kid, crying softly in the padded room because he, Jack O’Neill, had made that phone call and had him carted off to County Medical Health. If any of them had just taken the time to listen to Daniel for one second, they’d have realised he wasn’t crazy, but no, it took Daniel’s own wits to get him out of that place. In short, Daniel had trusted Jack, and he’d let the kid down. In a very big way. And he’d just been about to do it again, throwing his friend through the Gate without even listening to the kid. At least he hadn’t done it before, when he’d dropped Daniel on the Gate ramp. At least he’d come back to talk to Jacob/Selmak. 

“All right,” he said quietly. “You’re right, Doc. We should listen to what Daniel has to say.” 

“Dad?” asked Sam at this point. “What do you think we should do?” 

“I think,” said her father gravely, “we should listen to ‘the oldest and wisest’ among us.” And with that he turned control over to Selmak. 

“Well, Selmak?” asked Sam. “I know you said it’s Daniel’s right to choose, but what do _you_ think? Is this a good idea?” 

“Samantha,” said Selmak in her harsh voice, “I think this is an excellent idea. It will give Daniel protection against the Goa’uld. You know the interest they have always shown in him.” 

“Well, yeah, but haven’t the Goa’uld shown interest in all of us at some point?” Sam asked. “It’s not just Daniel who has that problem.” 

“The Goa’uld are interested in Colonel O’Neill because he is your team leader,” said Selmak. “They have shown interest in you, Samantha, because of what you still carry of Jolinar. Teal’C they are interested in because he is the shol’va, the traitor. But the Goa’uld are interested in Daniel Jackson for himself alone. This is something you should be concerned about.” 

“What?” Sam exclaimed. “The Goa’uld want Daniel? Why?” 

“Surely you can see what a good host for a Goa’uld he would make. But that is not the only reason they want him. Before her death, there was one Goa’uld who wanted him for a different reason.” 

“Hathor?” Janet guessed. 

“Yes. Hathor, mother of all pharaohs. She wanted him not as a host, but as a… possession.” 

“A possession?” exclaimed Jack. 

“Daniel…” said Janet. 

“Hathor…” said Sam. 

“Ugh!” they said simultaneously. Janet and Sam knew more about this than any of the others, probably because, being female, they had been the only ones unaffected by Hathor’s brainwashing chemicals on her first visit to the SGC. After that particular episode, Daniel had seemed to recover. He’d got over it. But Sam would never forget how she’d found Daniel after what Hathor had done to him. “He was in shock, Janet,” she’d told the doctor afterwards. “Daniel was catatonic.” 

Hathor’s obsession with their gentle young archaeologist was decidedly creepy, to say the least, and then after what she did to him… 

All Jack knew about that came from Daniel’s offhanded comment about the DNA they’d found amidst the mess. And he had been telling the truth, because they certainly had found traces of Daniel’s DNA mixed with Hathor’s. And just how had the mixing happened? It didn’t take a genius to figure it out. One thing Jack did know for certain was he slept better at night now he knew the ‘mother of all pharaohs’ was dead. 

“I don’t understand!” Sam exclaimed. “Why would Daniel make a good host?” 

Selmak didn’t say anything for a minute. When she spoke, it was into a dead silence. “Consider what Daniel has done for you. If it was not for him, you would never have discovered the truth about the rebellion of your ancestors in Ancient Egypt. If it were not for him, the Stargate would never have been opened. Indirectly, if it were not for Daniel, you would not be the threat to the Goa’uld that you are today.” 

More silence. After a pause, Selmak went on: “Picture this. Picture Daniel’s knowledge, his intelligence, his wisdom, in the hands of the Goa’uld. Picture the atrocities they could commit, the evil they could bring upon the galaxy through Daniel’s hands.” 

Jack really, really wished that Selmak would drop her ‘prophet of doom’ way of talking once in a while. But the thing was, he knew she was right. Although he’d never heard it put like this before, looking at the sleeping young archaeologist, he knew he was looking at one of Earth’s greatest assets in the war against the Goa’uld. But he also knew he was looking at his best friend, and that made all the difference. 

“Selmak, what are you saying?” asked the general suddenly, making Jack jump. 

“I am saying what I believe you should know. I have often felt you do not fully understand how valuable a tool Daniel would be in the hands of the Goa’uld. But today, if he so chooses, one threat can be eliminated, and Daniel can never become host to a Goa’uld.” 

“But what about Zelnar?” Sam asked. “Is she really much better than a Goa’uld? Remember, we’re talking about Daniel’s worst nightmare here - being a host.” 

“Back of the neck, people,” muttered Jack. “Back of the neck.” 

“Jack?” The soft voice carried to every corner of the room. 

“Daniel!” 

Daniel, although he had a reputation for being extremely good at talking, was still a good listener. So was Zelnar. She had wisely stayed silent as Daniel listened to the leader of the Tok’ra coldly and precisely define Daniel’s place in the universe. 

The youngest member of SG-1 stood up and looked around the room. “Selmak, I’m flattered,” he said calmly. “I’m in your debt. You are the oldest and wisest among us, but mine is the right to decide Zelnar’s fate from here on in.” 

“Speak, Daniel,” Selmak urged. “Speak.” 

  

Two weeks later 

Jack O’Neill was standing in the commissary with a cup of steaming hot coffee in his hands. But he didn’t drink it. It just didn’t feel right, drinking coffee without Daniel, and so he poured an extra cup and went in search of his missing friend. He found him exactly where he’d expected to, in his study, surrounded by piles of books. 

“Daniel!” Jack called. Daniel stood up, turning to face him… and his eyes flamed yellow gold. 

“Whoa!” Jack exclaimed guiltily. “Uh… hi, Zelnar.” 

“Greetings, Colonel O’Neill,” came the reply, in the harsh version of Daniel’s voice, and Jack took a deep breath, trying not to think of the Goa’uld. 

There was a long silence, which was only broken by the sound of soft laughter. Daniel was watching Jack intently, eyes back to deep blue. “Ah,” he said. “I see you two are past that awkward stage.” 

“Don’t you start getting sarcastic in your old age, Danny-boy, or you ain’t gettin’ no coffee.” 

Daniel took the proffered cup thankfully. 

That’s weird. 

 

What is? asked Zelnar, picking up on Daniel’s thoughts in an instant, just like she always did. 

I just had a thought. I really am going to live longer than Jack, aren’t I? 

You will live for many hundreds of years, Daniel. There are very few injuries to the human body that I cannot heal. 

What will I do? You know, when everyone I know is dead? 

Do you think you will never meet new people, Daniel? Your friends will die, and you will grieve for them. But your life will go on. And one day, there will be others, who will grieve for your death when that day shall come. 

Did I mention what a morbid conversationalist you are, Zelnar? 

Did I mention how much I appreciate your sense of humour, Daniel? 

Well, you’re the only one who does. Jack certainly doesn’t. 

That is because he does not understand what you say. He does not understand what Major Carter says, either. 

Sam? No-one understands her! 

I see. What is this you have been given? I believe you call it… coffee? 

Ah, Zelnar, you shouldn’t have to ask me that. You’re supposed to know everything I know. 

All I know of coffee is that it contains a substance that you are very heavily addicted to. 

Caffeine? Everyone at Stargate Command is addicted to caffeine. You’ll see. 

I am sure I will, Zelnar thought, making Daniel smile. 

“Daniel? Daniel!” Jack tried in vain to get his friend’s attention. “What are you smiling at?” 

“Nothing,” said Daniel, still smiling. “Nothing at all.” 

Jack wandered out of the room, deep in thought, but as he left, Samantha Carter entered. “Hi, Daniel,” she greeted him. 

“Hi,” Daniel replied, dropping his head. Instinctively, Sam knew Zelnar was about to speak. “Hi, Zelnar,” she said easily. “Are you looking after Daniel? Making sure he doesn’t drink too much coffee?” 

“To the contrary, Samantha, Daniel has just been telling me all about what coffee is. I have never had it before. Apparently it is addictive?” 

Zelnar’s harsh voice didn’t affect Sam the way it affected the colonel. “Addictive?” she said. “You have no idea. Let me talk to Daniel, would you, Zelnar?” 

Daniel/Zelnar’s head dropped, and lifted. “I’m here, Sam,” said Daniel softly. “What did you want to talk to me about?” 

“Nothing, really,” Sam said. “I just wanted to see if Zelnar would give you control if I asked her.” 

“For the last time, Sam, I trust her!” Daniel exclaimed. “I saved her life and she saved mine.” 

“I know, I know,” Sam replied. “I’m OK with this, really.” 

Daniel stared at her in surprise. “You know what?” he said. “You’re right. You are OK with it. Jack acts all weird, but you act like it’s normal. I like that, I was just wondering… why?” 

“Don’t forget Jolinar,” Sam reminded him gently. “And then there’s Selmak and my dad. I’ve got used to the idea.” 

“Yeah,” Daniel agreed. “I guess you have.” 

  

 

Zelnar was deep in thought. She would be eternally grateful, she knew, to Daniel for what he’d done. She had taken him over entirely against his wishes, and what’s more, through the back of his neck. But what had he done? He’d saved her life. Zelnar knew no other human quite so forgiving. But Zelnar had known, from the first second she’d been in him, that her host was unusual. Listening to what Selmak had said, she was astounded and amazed. 

But Zelnar knew what she could do. Day by day, she talked to Daniel, soothed his nightmares, lightened his troubles by day and by night. And slowly, little by little, she was making her way into that part of Daniel’s mind he kept hidden from view. Zelnar knew what could destroy a human from within, and she wasn’t letting that happen. Daniel had saved her life; now she was saving his. 

For the first time in his life, Daniel wasn’t alone. 

 

 

 

“All right, SG-1, move out!” yelled Jack as the Stargate activated. But looking round the Gate room, he could only see three team members including himself. 

“Oh, I’m gonna kill him!” Jack exclaimed. “Carter, where’s Daniel/Zelnar?” 

“Just coming, sir,” she answered happily, watching her commanding officer storm off to the door to try and find their errant archaeologist. 

“For what reason are you smiling, Major Carter?” Teal’C inquired, formal as always. 

“At what the colonel said,” said Sam. 

“I fear I do not understand,” Teal’C informed her. 

“He said ‘Daniel/Zelnar,’” Sam said gleefully. “He said ‘Daniel/Zelnar’ like it was… normal!” 

By the look of it, Teal’C still didn’t understand, but at that moment Jack appeared with Daniel/Zelnar in tow. The team’s leader motioned towards the shimmering surface of the wormhole. “People, let’s go! Just think, there’s rocks and soil samples and alien baddies waiting for us!” 

Up in the control room, the general watched his primary team go through the Stargate. One by one, they disappeared in a flurry of disintegrating molecules, and he heard the whoosh as the Stargate closed. 

General Hammond turned, with a sigh, back to his paperwork. It was SG-1, of course, seeing as the team were as accident-prone as they were, they also left the biggest paper trail of any of the teams. He ran through their names with a pen… and paused. Looking at the name of the civilian member, he decided that a change should be made. Carefully, he added a forward slash, and then the name of the renegade Tok’ra who had changed SG-1 forever, probably for the better. Satisfied, the general read through the names once again. 

Colonel Jack O’Neill, Major Samantha Carter, Teal’C, and… Daniel Jackson/Zelnar. 

**The End**

  


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> © 2004 The characters mentioned in this story are the property of Showtime and Gekko Film Corp.  
> The Stargate, SG-I, the Goa'uld and all other characters  
> who have appeared in the series STARGATE SG-1 together with the names,   
> titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television, Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions and Stargate SG-I Prod. Ltd. Partnership. This fanfic is not intended as an infringement upon those rights and solely meant for entertainment. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author.   
> 

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